King T-Bone
King T-Bone (also known as KTB) is the wise and funny leader of The Pig Club(TM) (TPC). Every Saturday morning, this boar crowns the winner of the of The Pig Club(TM) television show competition as “Pig of the Week”. KTB wants all kids to join TPC and educate the world about this misunderstood and beneficial animal ‚ the pig. KTB is pig-headed, not because he is stubborn, but because he is the head pig!
KTB encourages joining The Pig Club(TM) and fighting the clean human conspiracy to make pigs look bad. Clean humans have spread hoaxes (lies) that pigs are dirty, sweaty and overeat. These are traits that are uniquely human – not pigly! Through humor and satire (exposing human folly to ridicule), KTB teaches positive values ‚ values that kids need to hear – and The Pig Club motto of, “hogging the most out of life!”
These values include encouraging Pig Club members to eat properly, exercise (lose lard), help others, participate in life and do the right thing. KTB challenges every Hamerican to succumb to the joy of squealing, oinking and making pig noses. Pig noses are funny and laughing adds years to your life by releasing hogmones throughout the blood system. KTB salutes clean humans that naturally have pig noses – Sandra Bullock, Shelly Winters and (of course) Kevin Bacon.
King T-Bone has a friend (that looks a lot like him) and visits The Pig Club with great regularity – The Hogfather. The Hogfather is a shady looking character who talks like a gangster, but talks about important values that every Pig Club Member (PCM) should know and follow. He’s part of an organization called the MUDFIA and is in “the protection business”.
Pigs use mud for protection from the sun, humans use suntan lotion. The Hogfather teaches about the importance of family, nutrition and taking care of one’s self.